Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
