So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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