Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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