My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
