She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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