My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
