You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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