found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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