In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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