I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
