when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
