She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
