You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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