did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
