I look better un-naked...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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