Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize