What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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