it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
