my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize