I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
