so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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