Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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