oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
