I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
