are you so shy because you have an std?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
