So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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