so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
