I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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