So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
being pregnant is like rehab
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
