New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
