planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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