What a fucking waste of an outfit
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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