Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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