She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
