If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize