i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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