i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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