just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
