somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
