Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
