I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I need a burrito and a hug.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
