what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
