Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
