Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
