Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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