Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Shame - the story of my life.
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