real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
