I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
