Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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