mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm drive I can fine osifer
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
