Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
