Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm having to shit out rocks
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