dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
