i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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