I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize