similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
