I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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