You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
