At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
