Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Congratulations! We have a period
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
