Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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