Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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