you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
