Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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