Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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