I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
