i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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