so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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