He asked to "fluff my boner.."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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