My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize