He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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