The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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