We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
