Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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