new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
